Start a conversation about call with your mentor

Okay, now that you’ve asked a few potential mentors to talk with you, what do you say??  And how do you firm up a mentoring relationship once you find someone who is a good mentoring fit for you?

We get it — the first conversation can feel awkward!  It can be hard to ask for help, and no one likes feeling like they don’t have it all figured out.  But hear this: you’re capable of doing things even if they feel awkward and uncomfortable. And when a supporting relationship is a good fit, the awkwardness will go away quickly.

You might take a look at this Mentoring Covenant to get an idea for the kinds of things it’s helpful to agree on when forming a mentoring relationship.  You don’t have to make it this formal, but you should set some expectations for what your gatherings will look like.

Conversation starters:

During your conversation, it’s a good idea to bring paper and pen so you can take notes.  You don’t have to write down everything the person says, just the highlights that you want to remember for later.  It’s best not to use your phone for this, as the person might feel you were not giving the conversation the attention it deserves.

Here are some great conversation starters:
  • Would you tell me how you made some of your big life choices like where to go to college, what to major in, and what career to pursue?
  • Has your career path changed along the way, or are you doing what you always thought you would be doing?
  • What are your favorite ways to stay close to God?
  • Have there been times in your life when God seemed far away, and how did you handle it?
  • (If the person is married) how did you know that your husband/wife was the one you were meant to spend your life with?
  • What advice would you have for me as I figure out what God wants me to do with my life?

If it helps to have something concrete to look at and talk about, you might show them this trail guide.  For deep conversations about faith and call,  5 Cups of Coffee is a good guide to get you and your mentor started.

Action Item:

Once you’ve had a first conversation with someone you think would be a good mentor fit for you, do these things:

  • Write down highlights from the conversation in your trail journal
  • Send the person a note or message to say thanks for their time and investment in your future
  • Click the button below!
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